If You Can’t Post Anything Nice.. – How to Avoid & Resolve Conflict on Social Media

ImageAdmittedly, I know more about Facebook than I should.  I could wrap it around something noble but honestly, I’m just sort of addicted to the whole thing.  I love to interact with people and play connect-the-dots with relationships in an effort to make this world a bit more Awesome!

I’ve noticed several trends regarding Facebook statuses lately and they’re not helping you. I’m writing this post in an attempt to help some folks out. While there are many breeds of toxic updates I’ve chosen to address 2 of the most prevalent.

Let me first start out by saying that your Facebook persona is more powerful than you probably realize.  It casts either a light or a shadow upon your audience about who you are and what you stand for. If you’ve made it this far in the post then you are probably open to even caring about this so let’s proceed.

Unhealthy Facebook Statuses:

-Posting a status that is derogatory about someone directly.  You tag them, you’re angry, you feel better (for now).

-Posting a status that is angry in tone & vague as to who it’s intended for.  This person is actually hoping that a specific person sees it or that someone makes sure he/she does.

Why These Posts are Toxic:

I’ve had several conversations with people about this topic.  I’ve heard many give me the justification that it’s important to ‘be real’ on Facebook.  It’s interesting to me that the defense of ‘being real’ is only given to justify negativity.

Here’s why these posts are toxic.

The problem with social media is that it gives every voice & opinion equal weight into YOUR life. By airing out your problems to the world you are opening yourself up to a barrage of negativity wrapped in a cloak of concern.

While Facebook may not be ‘real life’ I can assure you it will find it’s way into yours…sooner or later.  I say later because by choosing to air out your rant you cannot control who among your friends thinks it was intended for them.  Perceived confrontation is more damaging than literal confrontation because one has time to fester while the other is over & done with. Like I said, not scientific but true nonetheless.

The Antidote:

Instead of deciding to air out your anger & frustration to the world I encourage you to pick up that smartphone of yours and ‘phone a friend.’  I’m totally aware that this is old school but I’m am determined to bring it back and can accomplish it with your help! You may choose to contact the person you are upset at or call someone who you respect and admire to give you advice on how to best proceed with this conflict.  Opening yourself up to the advice of those who don’t have your best interests at heart is toxic.  Keep your drama off Facebook!

Letters on a screen lack emotion. You know it’s true.  How many times have you misinterpreted what someone meant?  How did that make you feel once you found out the truth of the matter that you misread their emotion?

Relationships are too valuable. 

Don’t put yours at risk because you forgot an emoticon! :/

Social media is a beautiful and powerful thing but it cannot replace the authentic interaction of two souls.  There is a valuable substance contained in the human voice that Facebook & Twitter simply can’t compete with.  Here’s my Challenge to you:

Take the Facebook Challenge:

Identify 1 friend or follower on social media who you feel at a distance from because of something that happened on Facebook, Twitter etc.  It’s really hard for me to explain what I mean by this but, chances are, you know what I’m talking about.  This next part is the real challenge.

Call them just to say, Hi.  Simply to catch up.  They may not even know that you perceive a conflict so don’t mention it.  Whether this call ends awkwardly or with exuberant tears of reconciliation from years of neglect doesn’t matter.  You are not picking up the phone because you have an agenda but, rather, because you have a friend! 

I give you permission to be scared about taking this first step but I encourage you to take it anyway. If you do not value the relationship enough to make a phone call or the other person refuses to speak with you then I encourage you to ‘unfriend’ or block them asap.  Drama has a way of distracting you on your pursuit of awesome and ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!

Please let me know what I missed & how your challenge went in the comments below.

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About challengeyourfamily

I'm just a family guy with an amazing wife & 6 kids. I love to observe, think & ask questions. I love writing, enjoy the process, crave the finished product but ALWAYS put it off. My wife & I work our business full-time with one another from home and help people experience physical & financial transformations. This Blog is designed to help me sort through life. I hope it's helpful to you, as well.

Posted on July 15, 2013, in Blogging, Community, Health, Leadership, Relationships, Social Media, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. That is a good challenge, I always try to keep anger and annoyance out of Facebook, it has never done me any good otherwise.

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