Category Archives: Relationships

Humans were made for community and relationships are a messy business. Let’s sort through it together one mistake or victory at a time.

Where Dreams Come to Happen: Success Stories from the Start Experiment

More than just a bunch of quirky, world changers but quirky nonetheless.

More than just a bunch of quirky, world changers but quirky nonetheless.

30 Days ago I joined a movement that I’m pretty sure is going to get this world’s attention eventually. It all started with an email sent by best selling author, Jon Acuff, that simply said, “Adventurers Wanted.” That’s it. There was a form to fill in.

I have an odd affection for vague adventures, and I respect Jon, so I just went ahead and drank the kool-aid.

This online, Facebook group is called ‘The Start Experiment’ and is based on Jon’s best selling book, START. All participants are asked to identify a risk.  My risk for the first 24 days was to create a blueprint for a program that would eradicate childhood obesity in my county 1 family at a time.  I completed it.

My new 24 day risk is to implement the program I created and begin training to get on the cover of The Challenge Magazine. So far, so good!

All this may sound pretty insignificant until you realize that there are nearly 3,500 other starters in the group of varying ages, demographics & interests!

Here’s the thing…We are making a ‘ding in the universe’ and I wanted to share just a few examples of the Awesomeness that happened in just the first 24 days:

Read the rest of this entry

When Fear Wears Lipstick

ImageFear is my enemy.  I’ve heard it said that I should keep my friends close & my enemies closer so I like to study my opponent any chance I get.  I discovered something about fear this morning that I never realized.  It turns out that fear can be your loudest cheerleader if that’s what it takes!

If I asked you what fear whispers to you  our answers would, no doubt, be similar:

-Who are you to do that?

-What will your friends & family think if you attempted that?

-You have failed every time you’ve tried that before?

-You’ll do that one day. Now’s just not the right time.

Oh, yes, Fear can be a bully!  Read the rest of this entry

Christians and Ambition: The Struggle

Audacious: Bold; Daring; Marked by originality & verve

I don’t think I struggle with fear near as much as I do laziness.  I came to this realization about myself this morning so the weight of it is still sinking in.

There is an advantage to hiding behind fear…people excuse you because they can relate and now you have something in common to talk about.  Giving fear too much credit however, is a slippery slope.  The problem, of course, is that when you blame Fear for your lack, you’ve just given it tremendous power.

This morning I dropped my fears to the side and wrote down some Audacious goals in my journal.  I mean just downright silly stuff!  It was fun and freeing.

As a Christian I’ve always struggled with Ambition & Success.  Read the rest of this entry

Fatherhood in 17 Syllables – A Haiku

Small arms raised upward

Strong hands swoop down to love well

Embrace Fatherhood

-Rob Beaudreault

1 Step to Decrease Stress: Purge It!

One Step to Reduce StressThe last thing a stressed person needs is 3 steps so I’m only offering 1 that helped me tremendously last night.

The Problem: Mental Clutter

I have a nasty habit of not writing things down that need to be accomplished.  If thoughts are things (and I believe they are) then stress is nothing but mental clutter.

The Solution: Purge It Now

Last night I walked into the house not as a Father or a Husband, but as a ‘Worrier’.  My wife assessed the situation & immediately entered the room with an empty whiteboard and declared, “Purge it!” I immediately began downloading all of the ‘To-Do’s’ I’d left undone.

Why Purging Works:

The magic of the Purge Technique is that it transfers mental clutter into tomorrow’s to-do list simply by turning thoughts into written words.  Thoughts are substance, but written words provide a tangible skeleton for action to take place.

Now that you have this information you can either dismiss it, apply it or share it.  It helped me; I hope it helps others as well.

My Top 3 Fears and How I Punch Them in the Face

MyTop3FearsWhen I was a kid I always feared rejection.

Whenever I was accepted, I feared losing it.

Fear is a Liar.

When I was a young man, I always feared being unloved.

When I finally had someone’s hand to hold I feared they’d pull it away.

Fear is a Thief.

As a married man with 6 children, I fear I am not being enough for them.

When my bride assures me that I am enough I dismiss her words and dwell instead on what I know I could be if I just tried harder.

Fear says you’re not enough.

I’d love to be able to wrap this post up with a nice, little bow of reconciliation about how I conquered fear once and for all, but that wouldn’t be honest. I think it’s always gonna’ be there in some way.  38 years and counting so far…

I think of this question often: Without fear, what kind of plot would there be in my story anyway? It certainly wouldn’t be a book worth reading!

I’ve found a bit of relief in these words:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

I’m pretty certain that the best I can do today is to decide to be brave once more.

To show courage when fear whispers and take just one more shaky step forward.

And in so doing,  punch Fear full in the face!

Where is fear telling you not to go?

What’s 1 step you can take toward that place today?

Do it!

*This post was inspired by Jon Acuff’s book, START!  If you haven’t read it yet, click the link and get a copy like, NOW!  It is that good!

KAIROS – The Art of Being There

Kairos: (καιρός)

An ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment

(The supreme moment).

There is a moment I long for when the clock releases it’s shackles on my day and all that is urgent drifts away.  This is Kairos.

A holy moment when eye contact, hushed conversation, laughter or sacred silence is more than enough.  This is Kairos.

Chronos: (Χρόνος)

An ancient Greek word meaning time as it is measured.

(Time on the Move)

In a world of rushed-rhythms and hurried-hustle I long for the moments when Mighty Chronos yawns, stretches his arms, and bows to the full weight of time. This is Kairos.

Take Make the time to deliberately summon Kairos whether through questions, or eye contact or intentional pause. Time is fleeting unless you claim it. This is Kairos.

Chronos has only the power we allow it to possess.

Seek Kairos.

Claim Your Life!

Image

Celebrate the power of a moment. Seek Kairos.
Photo Credit: http://www.fireflyimageworks.com

 

This post was inspired by my friend, Grant Neiddu’s, powerful talk at the Claim Your Life seminar on July 16, 2013 in Lakeland, Fl.

 

Why Keep a Journal by Jim Rohn

ImageToday I was challenged to begin keeping a journal.  I recalled this powerful teaching by one of my all-time favorite mentors, Mr. Jim Rohn.  If you’re serious about becoming successful ,whatever that may mean for you, then journaling is a must!  Soak in this powerful teaching from Mr. Rohn himself.

Why Keep A Journal?
by Jim Rohn

If you’re serious about becoming a wealthy , powerful, sophisticated, healthy, influential, cultured and unique individual—don’t trust your memory—keep a journal. When you listen to something valuable, write it down. When you come across something important, write it down.

I used to take notes on pieces of paper and torn-off corners and backs of old envelopes. I wrote ideas on restaurant placemats. On long sheets, narrow sheets and little sheets and pieces of paper thrown in a drawer. Then I found out that the best way to organize those ideas is to keep a journal. I’ve been keeping these journals since the age of twenty-five. The discipline makes up a valuable part of my learning, and the journals are a valuable part of my library.

I am a buyer of blank books. Kids find it interesting that I would buy a blank book. They say, “Twenty-six dollars for a blank book! Why would you pay that?” The reason I pay twenty-six dollars is to challenge myself to find something worth twenty-six dollars to put in there. All my journals are private, but if you ever got a hold of one of them, you wouldn’t have to look very far to discover it is worth more than twenty-six dollars.

I must admit if you got a glimpse of my journals, you’d have to say that I am a serious student. I’m not just committed to my craft; I’m committed to life , committed to learning new concepts and skills. I want to see what I can do with seed, soil, sunshine and rain to turn them into the building blocks of a productive life.

Keeping a journal is so important. I call it one of the three treasures to leave behind for the next generation. In fact, future generations will find these three treasures far more valuable than your furniture.

The first treasure is your pictures… Take a lot of pictures. Don’t be lazy in capturing the event. How long does it take to capture the event? A fraction of a second. How long does it take to miss the event? A fraction of a second. So don’t miss the pictures. When you’re gone, they’ll keep the memories alive.

The second treasure is your library… This is the library that taught you, that instructed you, that helped you defend your ideals. It helped you develop a philosophy.. It helped you become wealthy , powerful, healthy, sophisticated, and unique. It may have helped you conquer some disease. It may have helped you conquer poverty. It may have caused you to walk away from the ghetto. Your library, the books that instructed you, fed your mind and fed your soul, is one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind.

The third treasure is your journals… All the ideas you picked up, the information that you meticulously gathered. And of the three, journal writing is one of the greatest indications that you’re a serious student. Taking pictures, that is pretty easy. Buying a book at a bookstore, that’s pretty easy. However, it is a little more challenging to be a student of your own life , your own future, your own destiny. Take the time to keep notes and to keep a journal. You’ll be so glad you did. What a treasure to leave behind when you go. What a treasure to enjoy today!

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

© 2006 by Jim Rohn International. All Rights Reserved.

If You Can’t Post Anything Nice.. – How to Avoid & Resolve Conflict on Social Media

ImageAdmittedly, I know more about Facebook than I should.  I could wrap it around something noble but honestly, I’m just sort of addicted to the whole thing.  I love to interact with people and play connect-the-dots with relationships in an effort to make this world a bit more Awesome!

I’ve noticed several trends regarding Facebook statuses lately and they’re not helping you. I’m writing this post in an attempt to help some folks out. While there are many breeds of toxic updates I’ve chosen to address 2 of the most prevalent.

Let me first start out by saying that your Facebook persona is more powerful than you probably realize.  It casts either a light or a shadow upon your audience about who you are and what you stand for. If you’ve made it this far in the post then you are probably open to even caring about this so let’s proceed.

Unhealthy Facebook Statuses:

-Posting a status that is derogatory about someone directly.  You tag them, you’re angry, you feel better (for now).

-Posting a status that is angry in tone & vague as to who it’s intended for.  This person is actually hoping that a specific person sees it or that someone makes sure he/she does.

Why These Posts are Toxic:

I’ve had several conversations with people about this topic.  I’ve heard many give me the justification that it’s important to ‘be real’ on Facebook.  It’s interesting to me that the defense of ‘being real’ is only given to justify negativity.

Here’s why these posts are toxic.

The problem with social media is that it gives every voice & opinion equal weight into YOUR life. By airing out your problems to the world you are opening yourself up to a barrage of negativity wrapped in a cloak of concern.

While Facebook may not be ‘real life’ I can assure you it will find it’s way into yours…sooner or later.  I say later because by choosing to air out your rant you cannot control who among your friends thinks it was intended for them.  Perceived confrontation is more damaging than literal confrontation because one has time to fester while the other is over & done with. Like I said, not scientific but true nonetheless.

The Antidote:

Instead of deciding to air out your anger & frustration to the world I encourage you to pick up that smartphone of yours and ‘phone a friend.’  I’m totally aware that this is old school but I’m am determined to bring it back and can accomplish it with your help! You may choose to contact the person you are upset at or call someone who you respect and admire to give you advice on how to best proceed with this conflict.  Opening yourself up to the advice of those who don’t have your best interests at heart is toxic.  Keep your drama off Facebook!

Letters on a screen lack emotion. You know it’s true.  How many times have you misinterpreted what someone meant?  How did that make you feel once you found out the truth of the matter that you misread their emotion?

Relationships are too valuable. 

Don’t put yours at risk because you forgot an emoticon! :/

Social media is a beautiful and powerful thing but it cannot replace the authentic interaction of two souls.  There is a valuable substance contained in the human voice that Facebook & Twitter simply can’t compete with.  Here’s my Challenge to you:

Take the Facebook Challenge:

Identify 1 friend or follower on social media who you feel at a distance from because of something that happened on Facebook, Twitter etc.  It’s really hard for me to explain what I mean by this but, chances are, you know what I’m talking about.  This next part is the real challenge.

Call them just to say, Hi.  Simply to catch up.  They may not even know that you perceive a conflict so don’t mention it.  Whether this call ends awkwardly or with exuberant tears of reconciliation from years of neglect doesn’t matter.  You are not picking up the phone because you have an agenda but, rather, because you have a friend! 

I give you permission to be scared about taking this first step but I encourage you to take it anyway. If you do not value the relationship enough to make a phone call or the other person refuses to speak with you then I encourage you to ‘unfriend’ or block them asap.  Drama has a way of distracting you on your pursuit of awesome and ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!

Please let me know what I missed & how your challenge went in the comments below.

Don’t Let Your Why Become Your Won’t

Everyone has an ultimate reason for deciding to start a business. This is called your, ‘Why’. For many, this why is centered around spending more time with family and, perhaps, having a bit more financial freedom to accomplish this.
This brief video is a warning for Christian Entrepreneurs, however…the enemy knows your why as well and WILL use it against you to his advantage.